brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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