my vag is so smooth its legendary
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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