iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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