she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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