covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
