I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
