To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
