He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
