I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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