My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
