Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
