I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
