Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
