why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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