Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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