Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
