We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
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So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
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we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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