i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
