If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize