Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
