They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
