how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize