you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
