also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
