go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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