I need help removing her.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
