David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
