What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
