Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
