You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Randomize
