i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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