Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
