I cockslap morals
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
