Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I am one with the molecules
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
