just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
