never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
