I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
