Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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