Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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