then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
