remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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