So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm at about main and main street
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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