was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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