The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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