u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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