you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
