when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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