Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I will be naked everywhere
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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