I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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