I'm fucking your sister right now.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?