He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
