i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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