its not stalking. its research.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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