There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
false alarm, still single
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
