if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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