my phone needs a breathalizer
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
