I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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