He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
